This story was created by my friend Mr. Danny for me and for my long-time bestfriend Juvy. This is our `love story` according to him.
lt all started when i was 16 years old. I was then playing outside our yard in California when i met a boy. He was a typical boy who’s fond of teasing girls like me. But of course all i got to do was beat him up. After the first one, we kept on meeting each other at the fence, doing the same thing – teasing each other. That only lasted for a while though; the next meeting were friendly. We see each other at the fence and we were always together. i tell him all my secrets and he was very quiet listening to what i had to say. I found him easy to talk to because i could tell him everything. We had separate friends in school but when we got home, we always talk about all that had happened while we were apart.
One day, i told him that the guy i liked hurt and broke my heart. He just comforted me and reassured everything would be just fine. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over that guy. I was happy thinking that he was really a true friend, though i know that there was something about him i liked. I thought of it that night and figured out that it was just kinda friendly thing i was feeling. All our time in high school and even beyond it were only spent with each other. And i told myself that we were just close with one another as best friends do but the more i deny it, the more it gets deep and then i knew i really do feel something special for him.
On our graduation ball, even though we had our own dates on that celebration, the only man i wanted to be with is him. That night, after everybody already went home, i went to his house and told him about my plans for the future. He did the same. I looked into his eyes and listened to him while telling me what his dreams were. How he wanted to get married and settle down were really fantastic. He also told me that he wanted to be rich and successful which i guess everybody would want to be. All i could do was listen attentively to every word he was saying as i was leaning my head over his shoulders. After our conversation, i went home hurting that night because i wasn’t able to voice out what and how i was feeling. I wanted to tell him so badly that I LOVE HIM but i was too scared and frightened… so i just ignored my feelings and told myself that someday, i would be brave enough to tell him how i feel.
Months and years passed but i still can’t forget the love i had kept inside. I wanted to scream it out every time i see him but he always had someone with him that forced me to back out. After college graduation, he immediately got a job in New York. I was happy for him but at the same time sad to see him go. Again, i was hurt because a lot of time passed but still i haven’t expressed the love i kept for a long time. Fate really did not give me the chance to say it. So i just kept it to myself and watched go on his flight. I cried as i hugged him tight as if that moment would be the last. I went home and cried my emotions out. I was still hurt and will always be while the feeling is in me.
Well, i also got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to being a comuter analyst. I was proud of what i had accomplished. One day, i got a letter with an invitation to a wedding. It was from him… I was happy and of course depressed at the same time… i know now that i could never be with the man i love and that we will just friends all my life… I went to his wedding the following month. It was a huge occasion – a big church wedding with a reception at a hotel. I met the bride but i haven’t talked to her that much. Whom i spent time talking to was him and i admit i fell in love again but i held it back so it wouldn’t spoil what should be the happiest day of his life. I tried to have fun but it was killing me inside to watch him so happy while i was covering up my sadness that was tearing my heart into pieces. I decide to leave New York then, i thought i would do the right thing. Before i let for a flight, he came running out of nowhere to bid goodbye. He said he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget everything happened. I know i had to go on with my life…
For several years of being apart, we wrote to each other. We tell stories about how our lives were going on. His letters shown how much he missed talking to me. But one day, he never wrote back to me at all… I was getting worried as to why he had never written anything for a long time while i had already sent him 6 letters. Well, when everything seemed hopeless, i got a note saying, “Meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things”, i went and saw him there. I was happy to see him again but he was sad, he was broken hearted… We hugged until we couldn’t breathe anymore. He told me about his divorce and why he hadn’t written for a long time. He cried until tears couldn’t come out anymore. Finally, we went back to the house, talked and laughed at what i had been doing, we caught up with each other, reminiscin’ the old times. But despite all of these, i still couldn’t tell him how i felt for him…
The days followed through, he had already forgotten about all his problems including his divorce. I fell in love all over again. The time came for him to leave back to New York; i went to him and cried…. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation, i couldn’t wait for him to come back so i could be with him again. We would always have fun together. One day, he told me he got a vacation leave but he didn’t show up as i expected. I figured out he might have been busy. The days turned into weeks, then months, I just forgot about it…. Then i got a call from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport, and it took this long ’til was settled. It broke my heart. I was really shocked about what took place. Now i know why he have not come that day. I cried and cried and cried,,,, Tears of sadness and grief welled down from my eyes. “Why did this happen to a kind guy like him?” i asked.
I packed my things up and left for New York for the reading of his will. Of course, everything was given to his family and ex-wife. Now i finally got time to talk to her since the wedding. She described how he was as a husband and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy, she said. She almost done everything but she couldn’t make him happy as he was at the night of the wedding. The will was all read, the only thing that was given to me was a diary. A diary of his life. I cried when it was handed to me… I didn’t know what to think… why was it given to me?
I flew back to California. As i boarded on the plane, i remembered the good times we had together. I opened his diary and read what was written inside. It started on the day we first met. I read on the lines ’til i began to cry. It said that he had fallen in love with me on the day i was heart broken. But he was afraid to tell me how he felt… that was the reason why he was so quiet that time. I also found out that he wanted to express his feelings for me many times but just didn’t know how and when to say it. It also said there that when he went to New York, he had fallen for someone else. But he couldn’t compare how happy he was seeing me and dancing with me at his wedding. He said he imagined it was our own wedding. He was committed but his life wouldn’t be complete without writing and sending me letters until he had no choice but to divorce with his wife. The most wonderful moment of his life was reading my letters for him. Finally… the diary ended with the line – “Today, i will tell her I LOVE HER”…. It was the day he died……
“If you love someone, don’t wait ’til tomorrow to tell him or her what you feel… cause tomorrow might be too late……”